Sarah Palin, Ahmadinejad, and… the Reunion of The Crucified?

14 years after playing our last show, the Crucified has risen from the dead. (Kind of)
The setting: Calvary Chapel Golden Springs - church home to Raul Ries, the first and only guest vocalist on any Crucified album - in Diamond Bar, CA
The occasion: Musical accompaniment to the testimony of Sonny “Whosoever” formerly of P.O.D. (also formerly of dreadlocks that had to weigh like, 13 pounds)

We arrived at the usual rock club hour of *ahem*… 3:30-ish in the afternoon. In other words - 3 hours after my morning coffee. It was so early for me that after we played our set - which was separated into two parts by Sonny’s testimony and a brief altar call - I ate my lunch.
The sun was out, shining and actually… kind of a nice touch. That church is on a big ol’ hill in Diamond Bar, and actually boasts what might be the only nice view in Diamond Bar. (Unless dirt and weeds are your thing - in which case you could move to my home town of Madera, CA for a lot less Green $tuff) We arrived at different times but that was probably the only thing about the day that seemed unconnected.
It was a big day for me - but not because The Crucified is back together.
We’re not really back together, anyway - people can start talking about that when and (a big) if we start writing music again. Till then - it’s a lot of fun, but we’re mostly looking forward to putting out some of the music we always felt got the shaft in a way that all four of us can look back on without minor vurp sensations.
No, the day was special because… I got a little faith back.
(Just a little, bleeding hearts - don’t get all weird on me.)
Seriously, I wasn’t sure what to think about this trip straight into the Space Monkey’s gaping maw, rocking my Red Shirt and eager to show my sand. I had reservations - after all, it was at a Calvary Chapel, where I have had… let’s just say, history. Were they gonna corner my band and start praying over us or speaking nonsense that they’ll later tell us was tongues? Will some guy ask me how my “Walk” was? Will they stage a book burning upon my arrival? Will they say something crazy to a friend who’s never been to church before - or potentially worse - a friend who hasn’t been in years?
I wasn’t sure, and it started off a little shaky.
I came out of the “green room” - standard, pee-wee Sunday school classroom, little toilet and everything! It was hilarious but clean - and some guy came up to me, with that look…

Calvary Guy: “Hey brother. Listen, umm… we can’t have, uh, y’know… smoking on the grounds.”
Me: “Uhh… okay? Who… what? Where?”
Couldn’t think of who was smokin’ out there - this ain’t a Stavesacre show! (teehee)
Calvary Guy: “Oh, hey! No problem man… just… I didn’t want to offend you, you know? Some kids here are recovering from smoking and I’d hate to have this be any more difficult for them…”
Me: “Oh! Yeah. I gotcha. Well, let’s see.”

Outside, one of my old friend Klank’s circus buddies, named Sinbad, was havin’ a square. (Yes, I said: CIRCUS)
Slightly awkward conversation followed, Sinbad stamped his smoke and it was all good. Only slightly awkward. Seriously. Sinbad didn’t even get offended, he just said, “No problem.” I’ve had those conversations before - they can get uncomfortable. However, in a refreshing change, it didn’t mark the beginning of some downward spiral like these things have in the past, and I really appreciated it.
Dare I say that the entire event was… *American Cultural Christian-speak Alert* a blessing.
There were so many old friends and old faces that I literally could not keep up. (I tried to introduce my wife to everyone that came up and said hello, which was idiotic on two fronts - 1) She’ll never remember them all; 2) I didn’t remember a lot of the names myself. “Hey… brother. This is my wife…”)
That’s always tricky - There’s the faces you know and recognize but it might take a second for your gears to click - but you actually do know each other so it’s not big deal. Unfortunately, standing next to that person is usually a guy will roll up and start talking stories, reminiscing about people you never actually knew and giving one-armed hugs and knowing grins but who gets all butt-hurt that you can’t remember. My apologies to all who feel the fell under the latter category - my brain only holds so much.

“‘Member that? Those were crazy days, man!”
“No.”
“Aww, man… yeah. Crazy.”

Anyhow, the truth is… most of the people I saw were sights for sore eyes - so much so that it was at moments overwhelming. Lots of the old Garden Grove/Church-of-the-New Order to South Bay/Sanctuary-era-of-the-Crucified worlds colliding. Lots of faces I remembered from shows that happened over 15 years ago, now with little ones in tow. Dirk is old news, but seeing him along with his old Focused buddies Tim Mann, Jason Parker and Mike Merryman - plus multiple members of the various Ed’s-era hardcore bands (ask Bellew if you can’t figure it out yourself) made me a little dizzy. And while the show was great, I think the reunions were special. And… hanging out in a church all day with people who actually mean you no harm wasn’t bad either.
Then…
The C.H.U.D.s came out. (it will never get old)

I came home and checked out my facebook page to see if any pics or videos from the show had been posted, only to see legitimately worried posts from friends with families and loved ones in Iran, where riots were erupting all over due to the rigged “re-election” of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. I asked Wifey to turn on the news, hoping that the shining beacon of American Media would save me from an ignorance-fueled near future, but couldn’t find anything.
I mean, of course not. There was something far more pressing:
Bwave Sawah Pawin got her widdle feewings huwt and she wanted mean ‘ol (genius) Dawid Wettewman to apowogize for being such a big, mean nanny-boo-boo.
That was it.
Iran?
Nowhere to be found.

And the narcissistic Americans all screamed:

Who cares about those loonies, anyway???

A brave woman’s, *ahem* unscathed family name has been tarnished! STOP THE PRESSES!
So let’s get this straight: The most powerful country in the world (…right?) with the single most powerful media in the history of mankind is being held hostage by a failed Vice Presidential candidate who is up in arms about a (misappropriated) joke from a late night comedian while the very same genocidal dictator she was so concerned about when there were still votes to be won, has taken by force an election from an entire country who is desperately trying to exercise the democracy we’re attempting to establish by means of the war she supported in the country right next door - and she wants to talk about getting her feelings hurt from a joke?
In the middle of a massive recession, there is a movement to Fire David Letterman - who still has a job entertaining us by keeping her name in the press - for a joke?
Sticks and stones are literally breaking bones and she wants us to care about a joke?
And… we do???
Do I have that right?

During the election, when votes were needed stat, Sarah Palin:

Ahmadinejad may choose his words carefully, but underneath all of the rhetoric is an agenda that threatens all who seek a safer and freer world. We gather here today to highlight the Iranian dictator’s intentions and to call for action to thwart him.
He must be stopped….

The world must awake to the threat this man poses to all of us. Iran is responsible for attacks not only on Israelis, but on Jews living as far away as Argentina. Anti-Semitism and Holocaust denial are part of Iran’s official ideology and murder is part of its official policy. Not even Iranian citizens are safe from their government’s threat to those who want to live, work, and worship in peace. Politically-motivated abductions, torture, death by stoning, flogging, and amputations are just some of its state-sanctioned punishments.

And worth noting:

It is said that the measure of a country is the treatment of its most vulnerable citizens. By that standard, the Iranian government is both oppressive and barbaric. Under Ahmadinejad’s rule, Iranian women are some of the most vulnerable citizens.
If an Iranian woman shows too much hair in public, she risks being beaten or killed.
If she walks down a public street in clothing that violates the state dress code, she could be arrested.
But in the face of this harsh regime, the Iranian women have shown courage. Despite threats to their lives and their families, Iranian women have sought better treatment through the “One Million Signatures Campaign Demanding Changes to Discriminatory Laws.” The authorities have reacted with predictable barbarism. Last year, women’s rights activist Delaram Ali was sentenced to 20 lashes and 10 months in prison for committing the crime of “propaganda against the system.” After international protests, the judiciary reduced her sentence to “only” 10 lashes and 36 months in prison and then temporarily suspended her sentence. She still faces the threat of imprisonment.

So we’re all clear: Iran is attempting to rid themselves, by way of democratic vote, of the monster named Ahmadinejad - the main contributor to the threat we all heard about when votes could be won by warning people of threats. That very same Ahmadinejad, whom Sarah Palin said herself was one of our biggest enemies, rigs the election and sends his police out into the streets to kill anyone who opposes him. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin - so aware of Ahmadinejad 9 months ago - says nothing.
Well of course, she’s been busy: Who else is gonna cash in on the Victim Ticket because David Letterman did what he’s been doing 5 nights a week for decades?

Look: I get it. The media follows the story. I understand that. My focus here is what’s happening with the benevolent Mrs. Palin. The audacity required to make a mountain out of a molehill while there is a literal volcanic catastrophe happening across the street is the stuff of legend!!!

For every person who’s given me that blank, stunned look when I say Sarah Palin is nothing “like me” - here’s why.
She says what her demographic wants to hear. And while the politics of fear weren’t powerful enough to win her and McCain the election last year, there’s no time like the present to start the campaign trail utilizing the politics of martyrdom in order to get back to the spot where the easier, more prefabricated politics of fear can take over.

Well, now I have something I’m offended about: I had a great show and this narcissistic fraud derailed it while she spun some “insult” to the very same family she’s used to advance her career into the beginning of a campaign that won’t start in earnest for 3 more years!! You haven’t heard the last of me, Palin!

Do Americans - including Christian Americans - actually care that another group of human beings are having their liberties stolen by force? Is it possible that the change we’d all feel safer to see happen is being thwarted by The Tyranny of Evil Men, while we’re over here misapplying poorly executed jokes and throwing fits?

Okay, enough.

Briefly:
Why does Taco Bell give you no Hot Sauce unless you ask, then… 3 pounds of it when you do?

Now that Kobe has his ring without Shaq, all you Lakers-goggle wearing fair weather fans might as well start counting down to the day when you’ll forget why you stuck that goofy flag out of your SUV window so long ago. He’s gone.

So You Think You Can Dance? is the best reality competition on television aside from The Amazing Race. Dudes do watch it… but why don’t they feel comfortable admitting it?
Well:
I’m an out of the closet SYTYCD? fan - and PROUD OF IT.

Speaking of television that no one watches: Pushing Daisies is officially doneski. Way to blow it, world!

I thought that Benjamin Button movie was great until hey had to use an actual little kid and the whole illusion was lost, but Blindness is the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Do not watch it in an attempt to prove me wrong - you’re welcome. I’m certain it qualifies… for this.

Heavy Rotation: White Lies‘ To Lose My Life; House of Heroes‘ The End Is Not The End - particularly the songs “By Your Side” and “Ghost” and… Jim Gaffigan’s King Baby - you will laugh, hard.