Hey You Freeloaders! The Sub Pop "Loser" Scholarship: 2009

Very cool, especially for a record label.
Probably some fine print involving your first born, but… what do you want from me? I’m not your lawyer. Figure it out yourself, teacher’s pet.

It’s back! We’re a little late in letting the tens of you good people who regularly visit our website know about it, but we’re exceptionally pleased with ourselves to announce the return of The Sub Pop Scholarship! We’ve done this for the past few years (2007 announcement and winning loser, the 2008 announcement and last year’s crop of losers) and are really just ridiculously happy to be able to do so again this year (you know, what with the virtual collapse of the record industry, the generally crappy state of the economy, this swine flu business, etc.).

So! The details!

Sub Pop Records in Seattle, WA is offering a grand total of $13,000 worth of college scholarship money to three eligible high school seniors. There are three scholarships—one for $6,000, one for $4,000 and one for $3,000. To apply for these scholarships you must be a resident of Washington or Oregon, and a graduating senior on your way to full-time enrollment at an accredited university or college. We are looking for an applicant who is involved and/or interested in music and/or the creative arts in some way.

To apply for these scholarships we would like you to submit an essay, no longer than one page, letting us know about one or more of the following topics:

• What are you doing in the arts/music field in your community?
• How and/or why did you become interested in artistic outlets?
• How would this scholarship money help you progress in your chosen field?
• What are your influences and/or who inspires you?
• Who are some of your favorite bands or artists?

Applicants are encouraged to send digital links and provide hard copies of their artwork along with their essay. However, please be aware that Sub Pop will not return any of this material, so please don’t send originals. Sub Pop will give equal opportunity to all applicants who fit the criteria outlined above. The deadline for applications is June 15th.

Please send all submissions and attachments to scholarship@subpop.com

All physical submissions should be sent to:

Sub Pop Records
Attn: Scholarship
2013 4th Ave, 3rd Floor
Seattle, WA 98121

Amount: $6,000 / $4,000 / $3,000 – checks will be made payable to the university or college of the winning applicants’ choice and applied to winning applicants’ tuition.

Where Have You Gone, Lester Bangs?

Did you see the Movie Almost Famous? Do you remember watching it and thinking, “Why isn’t music that fun anymore?”
It’s a legitimate question. Music itself is still music, so what’s the deal?
Well, the problem with the music ain’t just the music, folks.
Sure, the making-music industry is currently residing in the ICU on 24-hour life support, but what about the making-music-interesting industry? There may be no more huge deals sitting on desks in corner offices held by old, string-pulling Monopoly Men, waiting to drop such deals in the laps of any Next Big Things, but certainly there is no shortage of music being made. It can’t all be bad, can it? There has to be at least something to look forward to, right? The industry of those who are supposed to point us in that direction, of directing the flow of the next wave, should be jamming right now.
There’s good music out there waiting to be made part of our lives, but one crucial part of that process has gone bye-bye:
The Rock Writer.
We may ask where today’s Led Zeppelins or Beatles are (Hey, I’d settle for a new Nirvana at this point…) but what about this generation’s great “Documenteurs”? What about the people who bring the music home and help us find a way to fully embrace it?
What would the late Lester Bangs (portrayed by perennial badass Philip Seymour Hoffman in the aforementioned Almost Famous) be saying these days?
How would, “Lester Bangs on what American Idol means to the Music Industry” shake out?
Lester Bangs on The Jonas Brothers?
Bored actors with Pop Music vanity projects?
The commercialization of Punk Rock?
Creed?
(Here’s a great audio file posted at BoingBoing… listen and judge for yourself.)
As a lover and maker of music, I’m really afraid The Rock Writer isn’t missing - that character might just be… dead. Checked out with Mr. Bangs in 1982.
Or maybe today’s culture just doesn’t have time for that person anymore. Maybe The Rock Writer represents too much of an investment of attention, wisdom… intelligence? Or… is it something else?
Don’t get me wrong - there are plenty of people talking about music. Google “Music Blog” and you’ll find 230 million hits. Lots of folks out there saying lots of things - and loudly. Very authoritative. Very right. Just ask ‘em.

230. Million. That’s a lot of opinions being put forth as the Authority.
In my humble opinion, the Rock Editorial, with all of its informed opinion and critique - and more importantly, respect - has basically vanished off the face of the planet and been replaced by hundreds of millions of wannabes. One minute we had writers who studied the art of journalism and who were (hopefully) at some point challenged to think with a little objectivity, the next minute we had “anyone can do this.”
Oh, yeah!
So the question is really: What are all these 230 million people saying? Is anyone saying anything new or relevant or… are they just pushing more - lots more - of the same old thing? What is being said out there that will make music a better experience for anyone?
Or is anything being said at all?

“Talkin’ loud and sayin’ nothing.”
-James Brown

It really seems to me that we’ve gone from having a few voices that the masses could relate to, to a mass of voices, each with a few people who could “kind of/sort of/well, I don’t know, I guess” relate to.
Look back. Try and draw from the well of wisdom your old man tried to fill with good morals and work ethic: When something requires an art, a gift, a talent - do more or less people end up doing it? Can anyone do anything? Are we smarter today than we were 40 years ago? Does quantity win out over quality because we think we know everything now? Hmm. I don’t know - I think the information superhighway is shaping up to look a lot less like a progressive attack on the future and more like the 405 South on Friday around 5pm. Or maybe just a digital version of the Tower of Babel.
*insert play on words; cut to this picture:

annnnnnd… cue rimshot*

It’s like some sick, double-twist of irony - “be careful what you wish for” in full effect. Because bands don’t need labels to make albums anymore, there’s a glut of music being constantly produced; because anyone can write anything about anyone and scrawl it on the global toilet wall, we’ve got a glut of critics all trying to be the first to say something shocking - shocking, but catchy - something “Bathroom Wall” worthy.

Not exactly the formula for greatness, is it?

I think there are people out there who still take it seriously, but I think they get buried - right along with the good bands - under the millions of talking fingers that are tap-tap-tapping all over the internet. Maybe those people would be the target of Bangs’ wit today, who knows?
One thing is for sure: his passion would translate through whatever he was writing, because he was an artist, and those guys get noticed. (Eventually. Usually. Maybe.)
Ah, notoriety. Last - but certainly not least - those people who were good at writing about bands and Rock music used to get noticed. They even got paid to do it. Sometimes, they got to see parts of the music world previously reserved for the bands and those closely associated with them. Those writers - great communicators by nature - would then bring those experiences to the masses. They would be face to face with the bands, accountable for reporting what they saw.
If a writer was capable of doing a good job communicating those experiences, well.. the sky was the limit. If said writer was capable of uncovering some uncomfortable truth among all the readily offered information, well… that’s the way it goes when you’re dealing with a legitimate writer. He’s gonna tell the truth - painful or complimentary, regardless. But… if that writer misrepresented the bands or did them harm… he’d have to answer for it. Chances are he’d see the band (or at least a manager) again - we’re still talking about a pretty small community.
Funny how that changes things - when you have to see the person you wrote about face to face and stand by the words you’ve spoken.
This relationship was positive for those who were respectful and talented - but a big, fat negative for those who wrote things they shouldn’t have. Not so sure that same relationship is even possible with the nameless, faceless 230 million. It’s gone from an intimate and “small town” relationship to… anarchy.
Which brings me to the last issue that’s been chapping my buns. The lowest common denominator:
The Anonymous.
AKA: “Nameless Music Critic w/ Website, Comfy Chair, and Penchant for Snarky Commentary.”
AKA: “Hack.”

I think a total stranger named John Gabriel said it best with this handy diagram:

Where once there was an informed, intelligent and responsible literary artist trying to write something great, now there’s some sullen little turd who’s idea of “accomplishment” is to talk shit on people who actually accomplish things. Hacks.
Oh, Lester Bangs… where have you gone???

Now, if you’re sitting here reading this and thinking to yourself, “OMG. Another too-sensitive musician who can’t take criticism” and so forth, then let me stop you right there. While it would be somewhat childish, it would be accurate to throw the same logic back into the face of any Blah-gger spouting such nonsense (”Takes one to know one”) - but I’d like to look at it from a different angle:
I got the record that proves you’re wrong.
(Plus, when you’re born with yellow teeth, blue eyes and borderline red hair so the kids at school call you “Rainbow”- criticism is no stranger. What were we talking about? Oh yeah…)
Look, when you’ve been playing music for 20 years, chances are you’ve had some criticism that was tough to swallow. It happens. But I say that after 20 years of Rock and Roll, me still doing what I love = I can take whatever criticism comes my way and you can come up with a new excuse as to why your “internet zine” is such a downer.
You, Anonymous Blogger, would know this if… you had ever done anything yourself. I’m going out on a limb and betting… you haven’t. It’s fine. You’ll be fine. Just know that art is art - you can fake it only as long as you’re certain no one notices.
I’ve taken my share of “new” journalism. It can be painful. For 2 years of blood, sweat and tears, my band Stavesacre worked on what we felt was the definitive Stavesacre album, How to Live with a Curse. We were so excited when it was finally to released. Even Bellew, who wasn’t even in the band at the time said it was exactly that: The album we’d been trying to write since we started. The label we were on paid a guy to promote it, so he started sending it to all of his “contacts” on the web, and we started getting reviews like this, from an “online magazine” called Exoduster, in our inboxes:

Stavesacre
How to Live with a Curse
Abacus Recordings
Grade: C+/C
Miraculously, as you How to Live with a Curse progresses through its twelve songs, it just gets worse and worse. As the latest release in this Orange County-based band’s ten year career, Stavesacre are at their best with post-hardcore sounds a la a weak Quicksand…and at their worst with some type of pompous, man-rock Wind-up Records train wreck. Consistent with the opening sentence, the best songs on How to Live are early on, say the first song “A Reason to Believe,” but as soon as the slower moments of the follower “It’s Beautiful (Once You’re Out There)” you can see the forecoming doom. It is just down hill from there. The best part of the promo I have is that the songs are split up into 30 seconds tracks in order to prevent you from ripping it to your computer; an action that seems unlikely in any event. If someone would actually want to rip How to Live with a Curse, they should just be summarily executed.

Yay!
Irony: We’re still punishing the world with our horrible music, Exoduster.com is an empty link to nowhere. The thing is… the label only needs to read about 5 of those bad boys before they start moving on to another project, and so… another album, bites the dust. Happens every day. Every day.
Now, as far as I’m concerned, go on and say whatever you want to about me. I’m old, mean and I just don’t care anymore. Plus, clearly nothing you say can stop me (hah! SHAZAAM!), so at least I get to put my crap out there for you rat-types to gnaw on - maybe you should thank me. I would ask in return though, that if you have something to say, you show me the respect of a conversation so we can talk about how terrible my latest whatever is, person to person. Who knows, maybe - just maybe - you missed something. I’ll help you find it.

And hey, don’t worry - every groundbreaking band in the past has been universally received with open arms so, pile it on. I’m sure they’ll rise above and be stronger for it - be sure to ask ‘em.

At the end of the day it’s supposed to be about the music. I think we’re missing more than the Led Zeppelin of our times - we’re missing our Lester Bangs. We need someone to write about the music - bring it home. Make it part of our lives - not just sit there and slash and burn everything that comes across his desktop.
How many Anonymous Critics will the universe take in trade for one more of him?

David Cross Talks His Upcoming Book, Gives Advice

While we all wait eagerly for the Arrested Development movie that may or may not be happening someday-possibly-maybe-not-sure, we at least have some bits and pieces to keep us going - including interviews with David Cross (Tobias Funke in the show to those of you tragically Arrested D-challenged) for his future book, I Drink For A Reason. This one was from BlackBookMag.com, most likely hidden deep in the recesses of the very classy personal ads:

Though Cross still lives in New York, he advises young comedians to avoid the city until disaster strikes. “Don’t move to New York until at least three months after 9/11. You’ll get a much better deal on rent then.”

Giggle. Never nude. Tee hee. “Fyoon-kay.”

David Cross’ book, I Drink For A Reason drops this August.

Blink-182 taps… Weezer for Reunion Tour?

Blink 182 is kinda ballsy according to Buzznet:

Pop-punk demigods Blink-182 are planning to take Weezer on the road as their main supporting act when they hit the concert circuit this summer, an informed source has revealed to Buzznet. Though the tour schedule has not been made public, the pairing of two hugely creative (and funny) bands is likely to make their tour one of the must-see events of the year.

Of course, Blink fans have been on cloud nine since the band re-united on the Grammy Awards and announced they would not only tour but release new music. Their comeback will be part of action-packed 90’s-flavored summer lineup that also includes the return of No Doubt. (In a departure from Blink’s apparent plan to take out some fellow elder statesmen, No Doubt is opting to feature a younger band — Paramore, you’ve heard of them? — as their opener).

The question of how Blink would shape their tour has been a hot topic among fans for weeks. Speculation about a pairing with Weezer has been building online, but according to our source, it’s now a done deal.

Blink’s Mark Hoppus stoked fan excitement himself when he released a picture of the band’s possible setlist through Twitter. The image seems to represent merely possible ideas but it was enough to spark conversation. Barely a week ago, Hoppus revealed to his 180,000+ Twitter followers that one Pete Wentz had jumped into the fray and requested that Blink include “Stay Together For The Kids” on their setlist. (Hoppus says they will).

We have just two questions:
Who ELSE should be considered to join the Blink tour? And is Weezer really likely to go over well with Blink’s audience?

In other news, Blink 182 are demigods. FYI.

Sneak-y Peek-y: Bumbershoot 2009 Lineup

Looks like there might be some fun up in the Pacific Northwest this September…

A teeny portion of the music lineup includes:
Sheryl Crow / Modest Mouse / Katy Perry / Michael Franti & Spearhead / De La Soul / Raphael Saadiq / Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan / The Long Winters / Sly & Robbie & the Taxi Gang / World Party / MSTRKRFT / Roy Ayers / Common Market / UH HUH HER / Dave Alvin and The Guilty Women / Eric Hutchinson / No Age / Matt & Kim / Dead Confederate / The Cave Singers / Swollen Members / Vieux Farka Touré / Lenka / Gang Gang Dance / Todd Snider / Holy F**k / DJ Spooky / Iglu & Hartly / Low vs Diamond / Sera Cahoone / Eleni Mandell / Carrie Rodriguez / The Honey Brothers / Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head / Extra Golden / Cordero / Forgive Durden / Hey Marseilles / Adrian Xavier, and much, much more to be announced.

Question for those in charge of developing that site: Aren’t you supposed to be all arty and exclusive??? If you want to be pretentious, stay away from words like “teeny” - jus’ sayin’.

Oh, and how dare you make this thing affordable?

If you haven’t picked up your ticket yet, what are you waiting for? An advance 3-day pass is only $80… Um, that’s $26.67 a day…and if you really wanted to boil it down, say you checked out 10 things a day (not tough to do!)… using our expert math skills, that comes out to just $2.67 per show. It’s a wonder you don’t spell “bargain,” B-U-M-B-E-R-S-H-O-O-T.

That’s basically like going to the movies and buying one piece of popcorn. And just for that:

Buy tickets here and go to the movies some other time.

More additions to Insubordination Fest 2009

Punk News reporting that some other fest is happening… you can see their “page” but I gotta tell ya…

Teenage Bottlerocket and others have been added to Insubordination Fest 2009. They join a lineup which includes Banner Pilot,
Boris The Sprinkler,
Dead Mechanical,
Dear Landlord,
Deep Sleep,
Dillinger Four,
Full of Fancy,
Kepi Ghoulie,
Lemuria,
Pansy Division,
Parasites,
Resistors,
Secretions,
Short Attention,
Squirtgun,
Teenage Bottlerocket,
Teen Idols,
The Challenged,
The Copyrights,
The Dopamines,
The Leftovers,
The Max Levine Ensemble,
The Methadones,
The Steinways,
The Unlovables and
Toys That Kill.

You can see their “page” but I gotta tell ya… it’s on MySpace and took like, 28 minutes to load. Please let that website go the way of the buffalo… soon. Sorry, Tom. Don’t be mad.

Fleet Foxes to Tour West Coast

Filter Mag has the dates for the bearded ones:

Fleet Foxes Set West Coast Tour
by Staff | 03.31.2009

Seattle quintet, Fleet Foxes, have announced plans for a West Coast tour in April. They will also hit the festival circuit with confirmed appearances at Coachella and Sasquatch.

Fleet Foxes Tour Dates:
April
12 Portland, OR - Crystal Ballroom !
13 Arcata, CA - Arcata Community Center !
14 San Francisco, CA - The Fillmore !
15 San Francisco, CA - Palace of Fine Arts Theatre
16 Santa Cruz, CA - Rio Theatre !
18 Indio, CA - Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival
20 Santa Barbara, CA - The Hub !
21 Oakland, CA - Fox Theater !
22 Eugene, OR - McDonald Theatre!
May
25 George, WA - Sasquatch Festival

with Blitzen Trapper

In other news: Blitzen Trapper is still one of the weirder names I’ve ever heard. If this guy was in the band, it would be HIGH-larious.