FIB Heineken: Get Your (80’s) Boogie On!

Based on a Filter update on the FIB Heineken festival, if one were to desire to do so, one might successfully round up all 80’s enthusiasts in one place, at one time. At which point one might be able to do whatever one desires to them all in one fell swoop. :

After already selling more than 20,000 tickets, popular Spanish music fest, FIB Heineken Benicàssim, has just announced the addition of The Psychedelic Furs, White Lies, Friendly Fires and Boys Noize to their four day music fest.

The new additions will join the likes of The Killers, Oasis, Kings of Leon, Franz Ferdinand and Paul Weller onstage from July 16th-19th on the east coast of Spain.

Pretty solid, but not enough bandanas for me, pal.

Beastie Boys Get Weird

Good news continues with subtle rumblings of a new Beastie Boys album due out this year. Last time they started talking about experimenting with new sounds, we got Check Your Head.
Things could be worse, right? (Try, “experimenting with a new surgery that will make you a love machine, or… give you a limp.” )

Damian Jones of BBC news says:

By Damian Jones

Beastie Boys bassist Adam MCA Yauch has revealed their forthcoming new album has taken the rap collective in a “bizarre” new direction.

“It’s a combination of playing and sampling stuff as we’re playing, and also sampling pretty obscure records,” he said of their eighth studio LP.

They have tentatively named the record Tadlock’s Glasses, after a former tour bus driver, who was once presented with a pair of glasses by Elvis.

The band are set to tour in the summer.

Speaking to BBC Five Live at the Independent Spirit Awards in Los Angeles, Yauch said the collective are currently putting the finishing touches to their new album.

“We’re tweaking some mixes and we’re going to master it in the next couple of weeks,” he explained.

“There are a lot of songs on the record and there are a lot of short songs and they kind of all run into each other.”

The record comes nearly two years after their Grammy Award-winning instrumental LP The Mix-Up.

Of the title he explained: “We had a bus driver years ago who used to drive Elvis’ back up singers.

“His name was Tadlock and Elvis gave him a pair of glasses which he was very proud of. So for some reason that title - Tadlock’s Glasses - has just been bouncing around.”

Although no firm release date has been set for the record, Yauch said the Beastie Boys would return to the UK for a series of tour dates in support of the album later this year.

And from Entertainment Weekly’s Simon Vozick-Levinson -

The Beastie Boys are putting the finishing touches on their eighth studio album. “It’s a pretty weird record,” rapper Adam Yauch (MCA) told EW at last weekend’s Independent Spirit Awards in Santa Monica, Calif., where Wendy and Lucy, which Yauch’s company distributed, was nominated. And unlike 2007’s vocal-free The Mix-Up, he promises it will feature “a lot of rhyming and playing and sampling — all combined.” Beyond that, details are scarce, but Yauch hints that the venerable trio has been (no surprise here) experimenting with new sounds: “We still have a good time working together. It’s fun to be able to reinvent yourself every time.” They’re aiming for a summer or fall release, though no date has been set.

Sounds good to me, but if you wanna get really weird, make this happen:

Now What?

 
I’ve been feeling some pressure.
“Not enough writing.”
“Not enough cutting edge journalism.”
“Not enough of your keen and razor-sharp wit these days, old man.”
No one has actually said these things to my face, but I can feel them circulating the universe. Plus: I keep getting bloody noses, so that means someone is definitely putting these thoughts up in the air, causing them to land in my subconscious like grenades of scorn.

Well, I have something to say about that:
There ain’t enough worth writing about.
So there.
Seriously. Too much fashion, not enough Rock n’ Roll - and lets be honest: no one wants me writing about fashion.
Besides… it’s too easy.

So let’s ask the hard question: “Where’d the Rock go?”
Right now there isn’t much to speak of. Somehow we went from trying to create new genres and new styles to… just playing the same crap over and over in order to focus more on actually paying attention to clothing trends. Style. Fashion. I’ve heard dudes in bands talking hair and makeup tips. I wish I were exaggerating. It’s the music scene without music - so just… a scene?
It’s not even that I care about fashion or who is dating whom. One way or another - everybody has their own thing, and I could care less. I just want to hear good music - the rest is secondary. But when more passion seems to be poured out on whether or not your belt will fit your skinny jeans or how to properly explain to your stylist that you want your bangs a certain way than whether or not your new album is any good… we got problems.

Now the music fans - those who have no business trying on girl’s jeans or wearing eyeliner to school - are left to ask the question they’ve always asked:
What about us?
Every generation of outsiders gets stuck with the same question: What’s next for us? When is the next moment for us mortals? What is the next wave, the next sound, the next style - and who will be the next pioneers to lead us on… and give us something new to call our own? When - or if - this New Sound emerges, will you have to be beautiful to pull it off?
Take courage, Awkward Rock Fan, I’m ancient.  I actually remember the last time this happened and it worked out pretty well.

*time warp sound*

Ah, the late 80’s. What kid in High School could really expect to pull this off:

Back in the 80’s & very early 90’s, these bands were everywhere. You couldn’t escape them - MTV, the radio anywhere, every single magazine. They were inescapable… and if you wanted to watch MTV or read a magazine about music, you were forced to see bands like this constantly. What people forget is that these bands were just the logical conclusion to an over-marketed, totally exploited Rock Music scene. Corporate rock made copies of copies starting with Led Zepplin and this was what they ended up with:

Fortunately during the 80’s, Punk Rock - the kind that didn’t involve shooting heroin into your eyeball - also became huge and provided a major outlet for those of us who had no interest in hearing songs about hot chicks sung by dudes who looked like hot chicks. There was a loose identity to Punk Rock that any goofy, awkward kid could actually feel a part of - because it was created by goofy, awkward kids. More importantly, this sincere group of music fans had a place that was their own and that, at least for the most part, was all about the music first.
Watching Punk grow and swell and carve its own place into American culture, it seemed that the common man - Awkward Rock Fan - had something good going. Something his own. It wasn’t a reinterpretation of something done before - this wasn’t a new anything, it was its own thing.
Then… the milk went bad.
For five minutes things were looking up. Then The Man came along and… roont the whole game.
You want to ask, “Where’d the Rock go?”
I’ll tell you where it went: It was eaten. By them.
Them: The Beautiful People. The Haves. The 1%.
Somehow, they won.

People were asking the same questions then as they are now:
“Who’s gonna be our Led Zeppelin? Who will be the next Jimi Hendrix? The Beatles? Who will define our era?”
The last time people tried to sincerely answer those questions, the Labels swept in with bags of money so they could control the conversation. In doing so, they skipped over the real answers and gladly provided us with their own.
IMHO, Alternative Rock as we know it was started in 1986 with Bad Brains’, i against i. We were on the right track! It had nothing to do with fashion and everything to do with taking to the music to its natural next phase. What happened after is where things went all batty and we ended up with Punk dolls and Trump Cuts.

Bad Brains started it, then inspired all new waves of bands with Punk roots that were looking to take over the mainstream. The first band to really take that concept to the next level was Jane’s Addiction.
Before Grunge and before any white dudes you knew had dreadlocks, there was Jane’s. Perry Farrell, all septum & nipple piercings, horizontal-striped knee-high leggings and jitter bug stage movements dropped the comment, “(I would describe us as) a cross between Duke Ellington and the Bad Brains” in the band’s video, Soul Kiss. While there was a fashion element to what they were doing, it was clearly secondary to the music. They were terrifying and new and dangerous and utterly unmarketable by the standards of their time. Perry would never fit the mold of the macho David Lee Roths or pretty Bret Michaels’, he was the first real bridge between the Punk scene and the mainstream - and he did it making great, original music.

Don’t get me wrong - I’m well aware that Jane’s eventually got huge, which led to Lollapalooza and the introduction of Alternative culture to the mainstream, but that isn’t the point. The point is that the music eventually got swallowed by waves of insincere, mass-marketing fashion-based poo.
During those couple years, Nirvana and “Grunge” erupted, partially due to the success of Jane’s Addiction. The labels had a new horse they could ride into the ground - the new path that Bad Brains had begun and Jane’s had opened wide was paved over with flannel t-shirts, pre-fabricated “Grunge Fashion” and all sorts of devilry. (No offense intended to Nirvana or those who followed but, y’all should’ve at least sent a card.) Bands like Jane’s kind of took the back seat and before you know it just faded out into tour promoting and dating super models.
At that point what remained of the Alternative Rock and Punk scenes went underground - and Grunge took what had been called “Alternative” and made it mainstream. Grunge went from being new and interesting to gross and pre-fabricated fashion. Of course… the labels were loving it. They jammed every young stud they could into a flannel shirt and Doc Martens, and it was over. Set formulas in place, they went on cruise control for a decade. Cue: The rest of the 90’s. To death.
Meanwhile… all kinds of good shit got lost.
For example:

Or…

Punk grew into something entirely more sophisticated - not that mainstream music would ever know it.
The last Golden Age of the Record Label spent massive amounts of money assuring that you heard exactly what they wanted you to hear. A new form of payola was introduced - corporate sponsorship - and the labels had the market dominated. You could pick up a so-called “Rock Magazine” from those days but you would find nothing about what was going on outside of what was on the radio. There were bands that produced entire careers of innovative and surprising music - completely overlooked by the labels, print media, radio, MTV and the general mainstream music world. Add to the mix the debacle that is American Idol and here we are.
Fast forward to today and I’d say we’re primed for a new… something.
Do we really want to see what comes next on our current course?

From the (in)famous KROQ:
“We are in the business of selling advertising, not breaking bands.”
The art of making something great took a back seat to the business of music fashion and culture - anything marketable - and we spent a decade listening to music that made us hate music.

Now what?

New Leak On The Horizon - Bono To Destroy Australia?

Not sure who broke the story, but apparently a Universal Australia staffer still believes that people are basically good. Some yahoo down there made the egregious error of making U2’s not-yet-released album, No Line On The Horizon, digitally available to the media. Or someone. Someone evil.

Now the album’s been leaked, and the fellas are kind of just… dealing with it:

February 20, 2009 03:22 PM ET

Jonathan Cohen, N.Y. and Lars Brandle, Brisbane
Following a widespread leak earlier this week, U2 is streaming its new album, “No Line on the Horizon,” today on its MySpace page.

The move comes after staffers at Universal Music Australia inadvertently made “No Line On the Horizon” available digitally more than a week before its release. The album was briefly available for sale on the Universal-affiliated Getmusic.com.au and was promptly uploaded to P2P sites the world over.

Universal and U2’s management had taken extensive steps to keep “Horizon” under wraps. Critics weren’t sent review copies, but were invited to listening parties where recording devices were banned.

The album is no longer streaming in full on the band’s site, (unfortunately) all there is to listen to from Horizon is that weird “Get On Your Boots” song. Hoping for better and would like to know there is more to the album than a song that sounds like it’s missing an instrument, but I’ll be okay because… I actually like to be surprised by an album when it comes out. Amazingly, I find no pleasure in violating the experience by jacking some ghetto version of it with nothing but floating jams for context.
Note to Thieves and General Miscreants: There is a reason why you don’t make music - it requires creativity and artistic vision a bit wider than “How to rip somebody off.”

Let this be a lesson to you Bono: You can do more for your fellow man than most people walking the face earth, but some piece of shit will still steal $10 bucks out of your pocket… then tell roughly 100,000 of his loser friends how to do the same.

Just remember kids: When you steal music from a band, only the evil and soulless Record Executives are harmed. You’re actually like Robin Hood, just with less balls and no redeeming purpose.

Bonnaroo: Great Lineup, Needs Better Poster

The full lineup for the this year’s Bonnaroo is official. For those of you willing to brave June in Tennessee, have at it. I’m not posting the logo because quite frankly, it makes me not want to go - and the bands playing in that sweat soup deserve a little better presentation, Bonnarooians. It might actually be worth the hassle just for the Beastie Boys and Al Green, but the rest of the lineup ain’t half bad. Just… bring ice.
Here are some of the highlights… or lowlights, depending on whether or not you have a soul:

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
Phish (2 shows - is that really necessary?)
Beastie Boys
Nine Inch Nails
David Byrne
Wilco
Al Green
Snoop Dogg
Elvis Costello Solo
Erykah Badu
Paul Oakenfold
Ben Harper and Relentless7
The Mars Volta
TV on the Radio
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Band of Horses
Merle Haggard
MGMT
The Decemberists
Bon Iver
of Montreal
Coheed & Cambria
Lucinda Williams
Animal Collective
Down
Citizen Cope

With a festival that full of good bands, one would think they could do better than this, right? Something cool… like say, this. Well, turns out you’ll have the opportunity to live up to my unfounded high-standards by gettin’ on down with this. Nice.

Any-whoooo: With the occasional attack of New Hipster brown-footedness and old guy stuff, this should be a whole lot better than the majority of the festivals happening this summer - beats Faux-Skateboarding in Girl’s Jeans but… you might wanna bring one of these just in case.

For those not sure they can handle the heat, I’ll tell you what:
Go into your closet and take out your least comfortable wool sweater. Soak it in honey. Place honey-soaked wool sweater in Microwave on low to avoid shrinkage. (*teehee - m.*) Remove upon reaching 80º and wear daily. Remove only to reheat. If you can handle this, you’re good to go.

PJ Harvey Tour Dates - Including Two U.S. Shows?

But be patient!
These are from her MySpace - and keep in mind that her new collaboration with John Parish, A Woman A Man Walked By, is due out March 31st.
For a great story about what this collaboration means for Harvey, check out this article at Spinner.com. Please keep in mind while reading that this is the same chick who stood toe-to-toe with King of the Bad Asses, Mark Lanegan (Himself, Queens of the Stone Age, The Twilight Singers/The Gutter Twins, Soulsavers) on his BUBBLEGUM album and somehow made the songs sound… creepier.

Plus: What pictures did this chick have on her walls growing up?

I’m taking PJ Harvey in a knife fight vs. The Other Mother anytime, anywhere.

Enough. Here’s these, more to come… hopefully.:

Apr 15 2009 8:00P Corn Exchange -SOLD OUT Brighton
Apr 16 2009 8:00P Brookes University Oxford
Apr 18 2009 8:00P Anson Rooms Bristol
Apr 20 2009 8:00P Shepherds Bush Empire –SOLD OUT London
Apr 21 2009 8:00P Shepherds Bush Empire London
Apr 22 2009 8:00P Town Hall Birmingham
Apr 24 2009 8:00P Ritz –SOLD OUT Manchester
Apr 26 2009 8:00P Queens Hall –SOLD OUT Edinburgh
May 2 2009 8:00P Casa Da Musica Porto
May 4 2009 8:00P Auditorium Milan
May 6 2009 8:00P Theatrhaus Stuttgart
May 7 2009 8:00P Passionskirche –SOLD OUT Berlin
May 9 2009 8:00P Nalen –SOLD OUT Stockholm
May 10 2009 8:00P Rockefeller –SOLD OUT Oslo
May 11 2009 8:00P Vega –SOLD OUT Copenhagen
May 13 2009 8:00P Paradisco –SOLD OUT Amsterdam
May 14 2009 8:00P Ancienne Belgique –SOLD OUT Brussels
May 17 2009 8:00P Bataclan –SOLD OUT Paris
May 18 2009 8:00P Bataclan –SOLD OUT Paris 

And this from her MySpace blog:

We are happy to announce that Polly & John will make a whirlwind visit to the States in March ahead of their album release. They will perform at SXSW in Austin, Texas on Saturday, March 21st. Next stop will be an intimate show at LA’s El Rey Theatre on Monday March 23rd before heading to New York for a show at The Fillmore @ Irving Plaza on Thursday March 26th. Polly and John will perform songs from their forthcoming album as well as their first collaboration, 1996’s Dance Hall At Louse Point. They will be backed by a band that comprises of Eric Drew Feldman, Jean Marc Butty and Giovanni Ferrario. Tickets for the LA & New York shows go on-sale this Saturday, February 14th and are available from the following outlets:

El Rey – LA, March 23rd
Tickets available on-line by clicking here (http://www.ticketmaster.com) or by calling 213-480-3232. Tickets will also be available at The Henry Fonda box office which is open Monday – Friday, 10am – 6pm.

The Fillmore At Irving Plaza- New York, March 26th
Tickets available online by visiting www.livenation.com or by calling 877.598.8694. Ticket will also be available at The Fillmore New York At Irving Plaza box office which is open Monday-Friday, 12pm-6:30pm and Saturday, 1pm-4pm. For information, call 212.777.6800

The trip to either coast might be worth it just for this song.
(Those fascists at Universal disabled embedding of the actual video - ’cause they care so much about their artist - so I had to post this live clip. Poor Universal, losing out on “views.” PLEASE STOP HELPING.)

The New Etiquette: Driving

 

Went to go see Corline with the Wifey the other night and was rudely reminded of my responsibility to at least this corner of the universe. “And what responsibility is that,” you ask?
Well, obviously my responsibility to spread the word on how to behave. Pretty simple, really.

 

We went to the movie on a night when we finally had the time and a good enough excuse to leave our comfortable Netflix-direct-to-XBOX 360 cocoon. Turns out 3-D is still cool. (Sort of like Glow-In-The-Dark T-Shirt designs. Unfortunately the majority of the people making movies refuse to go the extra mile to make cool 3-D movies - just like dumb bands and their boring shirts I can’t see in the dark. What? What am I talking about over here?) Anyway, I had been looking forward to the film for quite some time, being a pretty big Henry Selick fan (James and the Giant Peach, Nightmare Before Christmas. No, I am not a Hot Topic Goth.) and a massive Neil Gaiman fan. (Neverwhere is an easy Top 5 Book for me…)
Should have been a nice little night, right?

I was reminded of my first etiquette lesson by the ding-dongs who felt compelled to sit directly behind us - in the otherwise empty theater. They completely crossed the line when one of the three fiends decided to put her feet on the chair next to my head. (Really? “Hey lady, I HATE YOUR FEET. I HOPE YOUR FEET DIE.” Okay, maybe a bit harsh. But y’know, you’re lucky I wasn’t this guy, so don’t get too offended.)

It’s been quite a while since I did my part and obviously I was being galactically punished. I’m sure some faith in my ability to help us all was lost.
I’m sorry, galaxy. Won’t let it happen again.

The subject of this week’s “The New Etiquette”:
Driving and Driving-Related Monkey Business.
Yeah Magoo, I’m talkin’ ta you.

I live in a Freeway View condo, and as a result, the Freeway is a substantial part of my life. The On-Ramp & the Off-Ramp; the merging; the noise. It’s all a part of my daily life, and I’m convinced that it plays at least a small part in making me the slightly angry, sarcastic sweet, cherubic person that I am today.
Maybe I wouldn’t have been so annoyed by Lady Feet On The Chair if I’d have had a more relaxing and less precarious 5 mile trip from our home to the theater.
In order to get to my job (which, let’s be honest, isn’t always a trip I look forward to with joyful anticipation… it’s work, y’know) or almost anywhere south of me, I have to jump onto the 405 Freeway and immediately cross three lanes or I’ll be stuck going somewhere I don’t want to - and my usual 4 minutes late will turn into 24 minutes late and a lot of stress. Not sure you caught that first bit there, so let me state it again:
The 405 - America’s Busiest Freeway
3 Lanes.
Immediately.

I once saw a license plate frame at the Orange County Fair that read,
“YOU SAW MY BLINKER, BITCH.”
I seriously considered purchasing it, even though my mother would have disapproved on levels existing technology cannot measure. I went home that night to try and take off my current “Hula Ladies” plate frame (It was on the car when I bought it. Shut up. Plus: Yarn Hula skirts on the Hula girls) but after a solid half hour of not unscrewing the plate, I realized it wasn’t meant to be. Turns out, the plate at the OC Fair was quoting a Will Smith song - one potentially worse than any attempt at Rap music I’ve ever unleashed upon the masses, so… “win” by default.

Anyway, this plate frame appealed to me because I’ve said this exact phrase more times than, “Hey man, you been workin’ out?”, “Sounds like a Case of the Mondays!”, and “Oh no, you didn’t!” all combined and multiplied by 100. Sorry Mom, it’s true.
It’s a classic scenario: You need to switch lanes right now. You conscientiously turn on your signal in an attempt to switch lanes - and not get a ticket for an illegal lane change. The driver a couple car lengths behind you speeds up. You miss your exit. A buttefly flaps its wings. The sky falls.
Thing is: Nine times out of ten, the person speeding up doesn’t have to. They just do it because they’re a–holes, bottom line. They want to win, and you won’t get in their way.

Basically, this is my life, everyday - minus the Molly Hatchet:

Now imagine doing this over three lanes, every day you go to work.
Some of you are already preparing your replies, “Oh, you have no idea…” and that is a common response. The truth is, you really can’t tell someone how somebody on the freeway cut you off - potentially killing you, more likely just winding you that much tighter - without someone else one-upping your story.
Based on this scientific evidence, I say we as a people should not only ask a simple question, but should agree upon a common answer:
What do we do about this?

Beyond the Malicious Speed Up, there’s of course the Clueless Slow Down.
Never ceases to amaze me to see people attempt to merge onto a freeway - with speed limits rarely under 60 mph - going 40 mph. Now, you’re not only totally annoying the (certain) train of cars stacked up behind you, but you’re also asking us all to merge into oncoming traffic at the same Mr. Magoo speed. Why don’t you just ram me and get it over with?

Ever been cruising along on the freeway and find an SUV in your lane driving slower than everyone else? Ever pass that SUV and see a person texting while driving? The new law in California makes this illegal - so that will never happen again.
*beat*
Yeah.
If I pull around a person driving slow or erratically and see a phone in their hand, I find that a nice, long lean into the horn pretty much does the trick. It’s far more effective toward immediately ending the text session than some ticket handed out by a cop. It’s hilarious to see a phone juggled in your peripheral vision, accompanied by a look of pure rage immediately followed by terror as the person remembers they’re ON THE FREEWAY.

Of course, there are multiple issues that I could cover here, but the truth is: Just thinking about them is kind of pissing me off and probably doing the same for you. From the motorcyclists who thread the needle when traffic isn’t moving fast enough - genius; to the Beverly Hillbillies style of piling every bit of junk into Datsun Pickups with no sideview mirrors - thanks from the rest of us who get to dodge whatever bounces out the back; to the tailgaters riding your arse so hard they can change the radio station - congratulations, your impression of a pair of tighty-whiteys is spot on.
The list goes on… but the question remains the same:
What do we do about this?

I really don’t want anyone to die, I just want ‘em to… knock it off.

Please Stop Football Rock

HEY AMERICA!!! WHO DOESN’T LOVE FOOTBALL ROCK??

I know, I know - it’s lousy quality from someone’s living room and you have to move your sausage-fingered meat-sleeve all the way to the track pad to hit “Stop” on the player after about 2 minutes. Let’s not miss the point here:
Dear NFL, Football Rock sucks. Bad.
The question isn’t why does it suck (if you have to ask…) but why does it exist?

Wanna know who loves Faith Hill singing Football Rock? Roughly 96 Million people, that’s who.
Nielsen estimates that there are around 99 million TVs in America. The ratings are calculated by the essentially iron-clad (because-it’s-worth-billions-of-dollars iron-clad) system they have in place that says what portion of their “representative sample” tuned at the start of the show. Their system said 95.4 million people tuned in to hear Faith Hill say things like
“Hey Jack, it’s a fact
The championbeingcrowned (sic)”
and
“Everybody’s ready for the…
biggametonight.” (sic because that’s how she says it, that’s why)

96.
Million.
Yeah.

Moving along, we get Jennifer Hudson lip-synching to the National Anthem. ‘Cause why not? We’re fighting a war. Soldiers are dying. Evil lurks. But please, let’s not let a wealthy, successful and award winning teenager feel too much pressure - could be embarrassing.

In all honesty, that’s just… kind of expected. I’m not even really offended by the “pre-fabricated” singing - she’s walked a pre-fabricated career path, why not carry on in similar fashion? And before you start - YES, I know about her family - but if you’re gonna bring a bunch of Veterans to the game to hear the performance, you might want to go that extra mile. (as he writes from the comfort of his “office” while watching QUICK CHANGE and not getting shot at by people who really do just want to kill him…)
Anyway, all this is minor compared to… ugh.
*Ahem*
You know what I’m talking about:

Bruce Springsteen and Ewww Street Band.
I’m not the only one who is saying it. It’s not a fresh story. Anyone with half a sense of melody and/or drama could see and hear what a colossal DUD that Halftime performance was.

You could watch the real thing (again, apparently):

Oh, wait! There’s more:

Or you could just watch this.
Same thing, really.
There were all these moments during the show that I thought were building up to something and then they just… happened. Nothing.
Unless you consider a giant dressed up like a Clapping Saxophone Batman the highlight of any show, what was the payoff?
It was sort of like The Moon. (See #7) All the hype, all the press, all the “Okay! 1..2..3..lull.” All the… pfrrrrt.
The thing is… I was actually disappointed. I loved that “Magic” album. I thought it could be kind of cool to see “The Boss” - even though I only know about 4 of his jams. He’s Americana. The Super Bowl should be Americana.
But this?
This was bad. Less “Americana” and more “America?! Come on!”
One minute Bruce is hobbling across the stage.
The next? Crotch slide into the camera.
There were 2″ high jumps to… gentle strumming?
And who in the production office was like,
“Camera 4 on Clarence! OMg PEOPLE! SOMEBODY GET ME SOME COWBELL!”

Then (at about 7:25 of Part 2) there was the bizarre Disney moment with the referee and the yellow flag. It was just… weird.

U2 played the Super Bowl and it was cool. They looked natural. The Justin Timberlake/Janet Jackson thing was stupid (and of course, a weird boob was involved), but at least their appearance made sense. (Kind of. You could kind of make a connection, right? I don’t know! Shut up!) Of course, Prince played and it was better than everyone - but then the NFL got all freaked out because Prince acted like… Prince.
So now we get nice, tame, gentle Springsteen and it was… awkward. Why was it necessary?
The Epic Rock Show takes a while! We want to enjoy the ride! It definitely takes more than the 7 or 12 minutes they actually get to play in front of all those people.
If we’re gonna do halftime jams, let’s throw a couple one hit wonders out there and call it a day! I don’t even listen to much Springsteen, but even I know that the guy needs to get the crowd into it before… the crowd is into it.

Portions of that performance reminded me of this show:

Kinda lame & thrown together, bound to end with some drunk dudes in a tussle.

I guess I shouldn’t gripe too much, next year it’ll probably be Toby Keith.
Or… Collective Soul?

After all the negative energy, I now give you something positive: